


In the Woods There's Nothing to Lose

by Ailurus_Fulgens



Category: Creepypasta - Fandom, Marble Hornets, Slender Man Mythos
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-06-29 07:50:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15725115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailurus_Fulgens/pseuds/Ailurus_Fulgens
Summary: Masky notices that Toby is acting a little strange on a patrol, and things go from there. Author's first published fic.





	1. Patrol

Toby Rogers was the most annoying proxy. Everyone knew this, it wasn’t a secret, and practically everyone hated going on patrol with him. He was usually distracting and talkative, rambling about anything other than things of importance, always trying to get attention by getting on people’s nerves- But tonight he’s uneasily quiet. As Tim and Toby trek through the forest, there’s nothing but the light sound of their breathing and the steady rythmn of their boots against the forest floor.

Tim knows he should be enjoying this. Rogers finally shut up for once in his life, but he can’t help but feel a little concerned. This so unlike him, and Toby isn’t usually this willing to walk in silence for a long period of time. He watches from behind his mask as Toby drums his fingers on his legs, only stopping to tic and crack his knuckles every once in a while. At last, he ventures a question.

“Toby?”

The younger man’s head jerks up in recognition. “Yeah?”

“...are you alright? You’ve been really quiet tonight.”

“Oh. Sure, I guess,” Toby sighs, looking back down at the ground as they walk. “Just thinking. About stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?”

Toby snorts. “It’s not like you re-really want to know, Masky, you’re just a-asking because I usually never _f-fucking_ shut up. Shouldn’t you be jumping f-for joy right now? Singing hallelujah? The great p-p-pox on your existance finally stopped bothering you!” He throws his arms up as he speaks, and then drops them limply back by his sides. Something really is wrong tonight.

“You’re not a pox on my existence, Toby.”

“Yeah? Then why do you hate me so much?” Toby stops walking, staring at Tim from behind those orange goggles he’s always wearing. “If I’m so cool and normal, why does _everyone_ h-hate me so much. You don’t even try to fucking hide it, I know that I’m the w-worst proxy ever, I know that you-” He cuts off abruptly as Tim grabs one of his gloved hands in his own.

“I don’t hate you any more than I hate the rest of the proxies.”

“...excluding Hoodie.”

_“Excluding_ Hoodie. Listen, I know that I can be rough with you, but I- I don’t hate you. You’re just a little… much, sometimes, and it can be difficult for me to work when you’re bothering me.”

“You told me last week you hated me.”

“...okay, maybe I did, but I don’t hate you as much as I hate the Operator.”

Toby shuddered. “I g-guess I’m glad that’s tr-true…”

The two of them fell silent again after that, each man pondering how exactly they got to their present situation. It was a good fifteen minutes until Toby finally opened his mouth again.

“...I c-can’t remember anything before the fire.”

Tim looked over at the younger proxy. “What?”

“The fire. I can’t remember a-anything before that. When I try to think of it, it’s- it’s all just… the fire.” His hand ghosted over the destroyed corner of his lip. “I remember I set the fire. I remember being happy that I did it, but I c-can’t- I can’t remember anything else. Slender came and got me right after I ran into the woods.”

Tim hummed as he regarded Toby’s serious expression. “...well. That’s just the sickness. I can’t remember much of my past either, you know. None of us can, except maybe Jeff and Ben.”

“Jeff and Ben are assholes,” he muttered, folding his arms impetulently. “They don’t deserve to remember what happened to them! They’re j-j-just stupid idiots and- And I _want_ to remember! I want to know if there’s anyone out there looking for me!”

“...oh, Toby…”

Toby turned to glare at Tim. “D-don’t you _f-fucking_ start with me! You avoid me at every t-turn, you have done _nothing_ to make me think you actually c-care about my feelings! Fuck you for that! Don’t you dare try to pit-ty me!”

Tim blinked in surprise as he realized that tears were welling in Toby’s eyes behind the goggles. Toby stared back at him before realizing as well, hastily pulling his goggles up off his eyes to scrub at them with the cuff of his hoodie. “Just shut up. Don’t say a word about this. To anyone.”

The rest of the patrol and walk home was in silence.


	2. Communication is Important

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some boys talk about some feelings.

Even after Tim walked back up the stairs, even after he watched Toby disappear into his room, he couldn’t stop thinking about that patrol. What was even going  _ on  _ with him? Sure, it was better than him being obnoxious, but it was a little eerie how serious he was being. Tim huffed as he sat down on his bed, undoing the fasteners holding his mask on, the ramble of his thoughts only interrupted by someone coming through the door. He looked up as the mask fell away from his face to see Brian in the doorway.

“Oh. Hey, Brian.”

Brian sat down next to him on the bed without a word, gesturing for him to continue. He always seemed to know when something was bothering Tim.

“...I…” Tim hesitated before speaking, “I think something’s wrong with Toby. He hasn’t been acting like himself recently.” He looked at Brian, who only tilted his head and waited for him to continue. “He was talking about the fire. The one he was in before the Operator got him. And he… He was really bent out of shape about it, he said he wanted to know if anyone was out looking for him.”

Brian only hummed, looking down at his feet. He’d been mute since they’d arrived at the mansion under Slender’s control, so there was no way he’d say anything about this to anyone. Tim sighed heavily.

“I just worry about him, y’know? It’s stupid, but he’s not as strong as the rest of us, at least emotionally. He’s hurting from how isolated he is.”

The hooded man pointed at Tim and tilted his head again, asking a question-  _ Why aren’t you doing something about it? If you’ve noticed, what have you done? _

Tim shook his head. “There’s nothing I  _ can  _ do, Bri. He doesn’t like me, I’ve always been too wrapped up in my work to realize how much of an ass I’ve been to him. I don’t think he’d accept my help if I offered it at this point.”

“...” Brian slowly put his hand on Tim’s head.  _ You’ll think of something. _

“I  _ guess.  _ But I don’t know what to do, I’ve never- I’ve never noticed that he was hurting like this.” He pulled his fingers through his hair, trying to think. “Has he been acting out this whole time as an attempt to get someone’s attention? Is he depressed? I don’t know what’s going on!”

Brain held a finger to his masked lips and gently shushed Tim’s worries. Tim looked up at him and sighed, trying to relax. “Sorry to dump all this on you all of a sudden, Brian…”

His friend shook his head a little and gently petted Tim’s hair back out of his face.  _ It’s alright, don’t worry about it, you’re what’s important.  _ The two of them sat down to talk some more about what was going on, but unbeknownst to them, across the house, Toby was suffering in silence.

-

Toby Rogers was in his room, lying on his bed, a pillow hugged tight to his chest. He felt awful after that patrol, and letting all of that out hadn’t made anything any better. He couldn’t stop thinking about that black void that filled his memory, his mind kept getting dragged back into the nothingness of Slender’s static. And what’s worse, when he wasn’t thinking about not remembering, he was thinking about the way Masky had  _ looked  _ at him. It was like looking at someone totally different- the Masky he knew wouldn’t have pitied Toby over something as small as not remembering. He knew for a fact that the older proxy had it much worse in the long run, having been dragged to Slender instead of willingly going like he did. The brown eyes from behind the mask seemed so full of emotion, completely unlike what Masky was usually like. If he could only just know what he was thinking…

He was jolted from his thoughts by someone knocking on the door to his room. Toby shuddered and sat up. “Who is it?” He called, somewhat scared that it might be Jeff trying to torment him, even though Jeff wasn’t known for knocking. The door pushed open a little, revealing one of the other proxies- Eyeless Jack.

“...you doing okay in here, Toby?”

“O-oh, uh, yeah, s-sure.” Toby hastily wiped his eyes and pulled his arms around himself defensively. “What’s it to you i-if I’m  _ not  _ doing okay?”

“What, a guy’s not allowed to worry?” Jack slowly sat down on the bed next to him. “While I’ll easily admit that I’m not the most human person here, I like to think that I’m more personable than like, Jeff. He’s a dick.”

“...yeah, fuck him,” Toby muttered as he looked up at the other proxy. “I um. I guess I’m not doing so hot recently. I dunno what it is.”

“Well, it was just this month a few years ago that you came here. Maybe it’s just the whole anniversary fucking with you, that happens to most of us.” He paused, waiting for Toby’s response. When none came, he tilted his head to the side. “...unless there’s something else bothering you as well?”

Toby groaned and pressed his face into his hands. “You’ll make fun of m-me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Making fun of you isn’t my thing.”

“...I don’t know what’s happening to me, EJ, I- I think I might not be straight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter waaaas shorter than i wanted it to be but uhh. life got in the way. fanfic, uh, finds a way, right?? ill try and update sooner next time yall deepest apologies


	3. Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toby gets some words of advice from Eyeless Jack regarding... things. Really more of a 1/3 chapter whoops

 

Eyeless Jack put his hands on his cheeks in mock surprise. “What, really? Oh, no! Think of how sad all the girls will be, Toby-”

“Shut up, I t-t-told you you’d make fun of me!” Toby crossed his arms and looked pointedly away. “...besides, I’m probably bi, not that any g-girls would care…”

“Aww. Well, it’s nice that you’re actually coming to terms with your sexuality, Toby, god knows we don’t need internalized homophobia to mess us all up even more. If it makes you feel better, we could gossip about how Jeff is probably gay and hates himself for it?”  
“N-no, that’s not going to make me feel better- Come on, EJ, just… hear me out?”

“Sure. Go ahead, I’m listening.”

Toby took a deep breath before he started to explain himself. “I just… I hate it here. In the mansion, with everyone, with  _ Slender,  _ and I can’t stop thinking about the fire, and now I’m also having some sort of identity crisis? I-it’s just all piling up, I don’t know how much more I can take of this before I s-snap and turn into Kate or something.”

“You shouldn’t worry about Kate. She’s… Something Slender made, almost entirely. To get to her level, you’d have to first reach a point where you were too emotionally unstable to hunt, and then he’d lock your consciousness away inside your body so you’d still be useful to him.”

“Exactly, that’s w-what I’m t-talking about! What if I  _ stop  _ being useful? I don’t want to stay here, but I don’t want to j-just be his pu-puppet either! EJ, I  _ can’t  _ stay here anymore, I have to leave, I need to get out of here!” Toby twitched and pressed the meat of his palm to his mouth, but Jack grabbed his wrist and pulled it away before he could bite himself.

“You want to escape? Is that it? You want to leave the rest of us to face Slender’s wrath after you what, magically get out of the territory? He’s got other proxies outside, you know, we’re not the only ones. He’d hunt you down and drag you back, and you’d be worse off than when you started.”

“But I have to  _ try-  _ Jack, you really d-don’t ever th-think about leaving?!”

“There’s not a place for me out there. And there isn’t for you either. There’s not a place for  _ any of us  _ in the outside world anymore, our place is  _ here,  _ doing our jobs, accepting our fates. I get that your little PTSD thing and your boy-crush are getting to you, but you can’t let that cloud your judgement. You’re an idiot if you think you can just waltz out of here and go back to being a normal person in society.” Jack let go of Toby’s wrist as he got up off the bed. “You were never normal to begin with. Just grow up already, Toby. Accept your fate for what it is. The rest of us already have.”

With that, the older proxy turned and walked out the door, leaving Toby alone again. He sat still for a few minutes as he thought about what Jack told him, and ever so slightly, he began to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha whoops this is a really short one. but hey, it's another chapter! delivered swiftly to you as i procrastinate doing schoolwork. leave me a comment. i like to read them. concrit is... good. theories and thoughts are also good. i have Plans. if you guess them i will be amused. regards


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